god,

i'm going to be honest with you, because even tho you know exactly what's going on inside of me, i haven't talked honestly to you about it.

i've been preoccupied with other things lately. you haven't been the number one in my life. i've let you fall to the wayside and even blamed you for that. i've been lukewarm, and allowed my behavioralist education to become my primary belief system.

to be honest, you aren't the most important part of my life right now. relationships are, my job, my friends, my own desires - such as rest and relaxation - are my first importance.

but god, this isn't what i truly want. i'd like a love for you to come easily, but i think it's become clear that doesn't happen.

lord, i want you to change me. i need clarity on what is true and what is not. i want to know where you want me to be and what you want me to do with my life.

lord, i want and desire a strong passion for you! i want to genuinely enjoy and adore you. it's been so long since i've felt your presence, god. please meet me lord! overwhelm me with your love!

i love you, lord. more than anything this earth can give me. i know there is nothing greater than you, but help me to feel that!

i want a heart that is willing to sacrifice everything for your name's sake.

lord, i love you, i want you, and you tell us that if we knock at the door, you will answer, and if we seek we will find, and if we ask it will be given to us.

well lord, here i am, asking, seeking and knocking. i want you to be my one and only, i want you to be my all! i want nothing more than for you to consume my life.

fill me father, fill me til my cup overflows.

change my life, lord. i'm ready to follow you.

amen.