i want to move away and start a new life somewhere else.

end of the year survey

2008.....

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
take statistics. live with joneses for like 5 months. watched high school musical haha

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don't usually make resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
hmm... probably someone, but no one is coming to mind at the moment.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no

5. What countries did you visit?
no countries this year. :(

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you didn't have in 2008?
greater passion for god

7. What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
this year has been a bit of a blur.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
finishing one semester of statistics!!! and being done with mc! haha

9. What was your biggest failure?
making bad choices and not trusting god

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
scarlet fever!! rockkk ooonnn

11. What was the best thing you bought?
christmas presents for people

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
dunno

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mine.

14. Where did most of your money go?
bills, gas

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
being done with mc! and recently, getting hte money to go to umbc and move in with charity and lena!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
viva la vida, one step at a time, all the single ladies, and basically any other song that played on 99.5 that the guy i worked with would play on his ipod for every aerobics therapy class. haha

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?: happier i think
ii. richer or poorer?: richer, but going into debt with school. blaahh

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
listening to my conscience, trusting god

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being self absorbed, talking to someone, complaining

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
with my family and then with my cousins and grandparents

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
nope

23. How many one-night stands?
none

24. What was your favorite TV program?
law and order svu, reba (!!!), cosby

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
i don't "hate" people. strongly dislike, sure there might be a few...

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
cool soundtracks like mamma mia, hairspray and stuff

28. What did you want and get?
to go to umbc

29. What did you want and not get?
new stuff like laptop, car, etc.

30. What were your favorite films of this year?
hairspray, horton hears a who, mamma mia

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 21, had a migraine, drove downtown with ashley and got some food, then went to get license and back to the house to watch a movie, then went out with friends to bailey's and back to the house for a really scary movie

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
not making dumb mistakes.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
i dunno.

34. What kept you sane?
friends

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
no one

37. Who did you miss?
sane people who think logically and don't condemn.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
abby and amy and kevin and alicia and the other amy and danny and rosie and jackie and all the other cool people at work.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
god is in control.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"if i were a boy i think i could understand, how it feels to love a girl i swear i'd be a better man"
"all the single ladies!!... if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it!" haha
"i'm not a princess this ain't a fairy, i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell..."
"be thou my vision o lord of my heart, naught be all else to me save that thou art, thou my best thought by day or by night, waking or sleeping thy presence my light"


hooray a new year! and lets hope its a better one.

a profile of a domestic abuser

.a family member/partner who tries to physically or psychologically (mentally, spiritually, emotionally) dominate another.
.behind their charming wit and flattery are lies and manipulation.
many men can be like this without actually physically abusing a woman. they charm you into being their friend, get to know your ins and outs, they jerk you around and treat you like dirt but charm their way out of it and use manipulative words to put it back on you - like it's your fault they are jerks. they take advantage of you and run. but when they come back they use their flattery and charm to back. they domineer you, causing you to feel inferior and fear ever leaving them. you lose all confidence in yourself.
don't allow yourself to stick with one of these guys simply because you think they are all like that, or it's your fault, or you can't find anyone better. you deserve better. he deserves hell.
get out. get out while you still can.





brought to you by a bored psych student.

"I can no longer live by thinking"

What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?

--------------------------------------------------


To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
- Macbeth, Act V, Scene V

YOU GO GIRL!!!

I got to go to the Sarah Palin rally today in Leesburg, VA.

it was AWESOME!!!!

I got to shake her hand
and she said she liked my glasses haha because they are like hers. :)

it was totally worth getting up at 5am and standing in the cold for hours.


GO MCCAIN~PALIN 08

In Six Troubles

Remember what God has done for you and then say, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Heb 13:8) When you are praying, if you cannot see that He is comfortable towards you today, recall that He was yesterday.

If there is no present manifestations of divine favor, remember the past. He has been gracious. Can you tell how gracious? He has abounded towards you in lovingkindness, tenderness, a faithfulness. He has never been a wilderness or a land of drought to you.

Well then, if in six troubles He has delivered you, will you not trust Him for seven? (Job 5:19). If you get to sixty troubles, will you not trust Him for sixty-one?

We say that we ought always to trust someone until they deceive us. We reckon someone honest until we find otherwise. Let it be so with God. Since we have found Him good, faithful, true, kind and tender, let us not think badly of Him now that we have come into difficult straits. Come to Him and say, "Are You our God? Did You not bring us 'up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay'(Ps 40:2)? Surely, then, You will not leave us now."

The wonders God can do! He loves us to state our difficulty, that when He gets us out we will well remember the condition we were in.

After pleading the promise and confessing our condition, we may say, "Lord, if help does come, it must come from You. It cannot come from anywhere else, so we look to You. We believe help will come. Though we do not know how it will come, we are looking to You. Though we do not know when, we are looking to You. Though we do not know what You would have us to do, we still are looking to You. Our eyes may be full of years, but they are on You."

-Spurgeon (Beside Still Waters)

God is good.

Majesty, your glory is shining
brighter than the moon and the stars
Marveling, we honor and fear you above all gods.

Glorious and mighty
You're awesome in beauty
Joyful songs we raise
Glorious and mighty
You're awesome in beauty
Greatly to be praised

Majesty, you fashioned the heavens
Your decrees can never be changed
Overall, the plans of the nations
Your judgments reign

Glorious and mighty
You're awesome in beauty
Joyful songs we raise
Glorious and mighty
You're awesome in beauty
Greatly to be praised

Majesty, come again in the clouds
every knee bowed to the one true God

Glorious and mighty
You're awesome in beauty
Joyful songs we raise
Glorious and mighty
You're awesome in beauty
Greatly to be praised

she is the best

.scarlet fever.

So guess what? I have contracted scarlet fever... which Erin and I find quite hilarious. Seriously, of all things, why the disease that killed famous literary characters and our made up families when we played oregon trail? It's quite amusing to have a disease us kids thought didn't exist anymore.

However it has allowed us to dig into our depths of knowledge from books read in our past and remember who all died from this disease... well, wikipedia allows us to forget some old stuff because we can always look it up later.




Here we have Mary Ingalls,
who got scarlet fever and was blind as a result.







Then there is Beth from Little Women, who got scarlet fever which turned into rheumatic fever and then died.

Then who can forget the sad story of the Velveteen Rabbit??


And other notables:
Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley - Victor Frankenstein's adoptive sister Elizabeth contracts scarlet fever and recovers. But Victor's mother, who contracts the scarlet fever from Elizabeth, dies.

The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Spears - A young girl from Barbados is accused of giving scarlet fever to her cousins by using witchcraft.


Anna Jones, mother of the young Henry 'Indiana' Jones died of Scarlet Fever during the year of 1912.


Well that was fun. And as much as I'm laughing, I'm hoping to get better soon - school just started yesterday and I'm already out sick! Not cool.

as long as you are glorified

Shall I take from your hand your blessings, yet not welcome any pain?
Shall I thank you for days of sunshine, yet grumble in days of rain?
Shall I love you in times of plenty, then leave you in days of drought?
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest, but when winter winds blow then doubt?

Oh let your will be done in me, in your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long as you are glorified.

Are you good only when I prosper, and true only when I'm filled?
Are you King only when I'm carefree, and God only when I'm well?
You are good when I'm poor and needy.
You are true when I'm parched and dry.
You still reign in the deepest valley
You're still God in the darkest night.

So quiet my restless heart, quiet my restless hart, quiet my restless heart in You.

.proverbs3:5.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

"Those who know themselves, find their own understandings a broken reed, which, if they lean upon, will fail." -matthew henry commentary


"I already have approval from the only One who matters."

true humility

But what we suffer from to-day is humility in the wrong place. Modesty has moved from the organ of ambition. Modesty has settled upon the organ of conviction; where it was never meant to be. A man was meant to be doubtful about himself, but undoubting about the truth; this has been exactly reversed. Nowadays the part of a man that a man does assert is exactly the part he ought not to assert himself. The part he doubts is exactly the part he ought not to doubt -- the Divine Reason. Huxley preached a humility content to learn from Nature. But the new sceptic is so humble that he doubts if he can even learn. Thus we should be wrong if we had said hastily that there is no humility typical of our time. The truth is that there is a real humility typical of our time; but it so happens that it is practically a more poisonous humility than the wildest prostrations of the ascetic. The old humility was a spur that prevented a man from stopping; not a nail in his boot that prevented him from going on. For the old humility made a man doubtful about his efforts, which might make him work harder. But the new humility makes a man doubtful about his aims, which will make him stop working altogether.

At any street corner we may meet a man who utters the frantic and blasphemous statement that he may be wrong. Every day one comes across somebody who says that of course his view may not be the right one. Of course his view must be the right one, or it is not his view. We are on the road to producing a race of men too mentally modest to believe in the multiplication table. We are in danger of seeing philosophers who doubt the law of gravity as being a mere fancy of their own. Scoffers of old time were too proud to be convinced; but these are too humble to be convinced. The meek do inherit the earth; but the modern sceptics are too meek even to claim their inheritance.

-GK Chesterton

(gkc.blogspot.com)

Get Serious.

Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it.

You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way.

You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble."

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.

Don't bad-mouth each other, friends. It's God's Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You're supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?

James 4:1-12 (from The Message Bible) :-P

It's kinda funny to read in comparison to what other versions say... but it does get right down to the point.

"Yell a loud no to the devil and watch him scamper" instead of "resist the devil and he will flee from you" haha

.psalm139.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

grateful for memorizing this in 1st grade. it all comes back.

oh yes.

we ran down the highway today.

a testimony of truth

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

.1timothy1:12-17.

...genesis 1-2:2...

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night."

And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. God called the expanse "sky."

And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear."

And it was so.

God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas."

And God saw that it was good.

Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds."

And it was so.

The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds.

And God saw that it was good.

And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.


And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth."

And it was so.

God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness.

And God saw that it was good.

And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.





And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky."


So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind.

And God saw that it was good.


God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth."


And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.



And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds:
livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind."

And it was so.

God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds.

And God saw that it was good.






Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the bi rds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them,
"Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food."

And it was so.

God saw all that he had made,

and it was very good.

And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.

And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

you have now entered...... the twilight zone...

de do de do de do de do de do de do de do de do






otherwise known as my bedroom.
::shrieks::

*points from na*

*we fight for faith not to get God 100% for us, but because he already is 100% for us!



**Why do we want to be forgiven?**
*If Jesus is just a ticket to heaven, he is not honored.

* "I don't want to go to hell... hot!!" -piper :)



**Regressive sanctification**

*if you don't keep swimming against the current, you'll be pulled backwards.



*Psalm 42*

*We are in an unending conversation with ourselves -- this conversation has the most influence on our soul than anything else in every day life.

*talk to yourself. don't listen to yourself.

*god has not forgotten the psalmist. the psalmist has forgotten god.

*speak to your soul with the promises of god.

*talk to god - god is pleased when we come to him with his promises. he is eager to fulfill them. go to the throne and say, "do as you promised".



*Galatians 4:1-7*

*god's purpose did not conclude with redemption. it culminated into adoption.

*"to be right with God is great, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is greater."

* am i more aware of justifying grace than of adopting grace?

*"the greatest sorrow and burden and unkindness you can do to the Father is to not believe that he loves you"

* I know that christ loves me because i love him. and there is no way that love was put there without him first loving me.



** Unless Your grace had called me
And taught my darkened mind
The world would have enthralled me
To Your glories I’d be blind
My heart knows none above You
For Your rich grace I thirst
I know that if I love You
You must have loved me first

Jesus, You have saved me
And taken all my sin, all my sins away
Jesus, You have called me
Before the world began, to glorify Your name**

jeremiah 15.16

Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts.


--God's work meets us right where we are.

--the bible is not a book of all that we need to do for God, but rather a story of all that God has done for us.



-- may the bible not just be lifeless words on a page, but words from the heavenly father to meet us.

.love.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I Corinthians 13

classic.

i'm learning...

not to expect things that may seem important to me.

It's fun to be involved in a lot of things... but sometimes you just have to stop because your body cannot go any further.
This afternoon/evening was a nice break - even tho i was supposed to be studying for a test - it was quite relaxing. Tomorrow morning its back to the grind of life.

:)

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13

the neverending competition to be cool

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." ~Ephesians 4:29


Back in high school I realized something.

I realized one day that much of what everyone said was a competition in trying to make yourself feel better while putting someone else down. Everyone would be talking - could be about anything - and teasing each other and stuff and I found so often that someone would put down another person, probably with something small, but the only intent of putting the other person down to make other people laugh at themselves or think they are better, or to just feel cool about themselves. The only reason for doing this was building yourself up - at the expense of someone else. Why make someone else feel stupid just so you can get a laugh from others around at how much cooler you are than the other person? Well... in the end, this only makes the first person look self centered.

I decided back in high school that I did not want to tear others down in order to make myself feel better. Of course sometimes that tendency slips back out again, however I don't want to be self focused in my speech. After seeing friends doing it to other friends, or to myself, I have both seen and felt the effects of blowing someone off and I don't want to be the person causing another person any pain. I want to be a person who is others focused, and building others up in my speech. God calls us to not let any unwholesome talk out of our mouths, but rather only what is building up to others. Our speech should be beneficial to those listening, not words that tear them down and hurt them. This can be done in the littlest things, so small we may not even realize it. All it does however is hurt other people, and make ourselves feel cool (for like, a second) and usually pretty shallow as well.

Anyway... that was my thought over the past few days.

my daily prayer...

It was Your grace that drew me to the cross
It was Your grace that gave me faith
It was Your grace that reconciled me to Yourself
Though I had sinned in every way
You disarmed me of everything that I would lean on
So I would lean on You
And You stripped me of everything I would depend on
So I’d depend on You

In You alone my strength is found
In You alone my hope abounds
In You alone my strength is found
My life is bound up in You

And in my weakness give me still more grace
Grace to cast myself on You
In every trial let me find Your peace and joy
And grace to humbly walk with You
O disarm me of everything that I would lean on
So I will lean on You
Jesus, strip me of everything I would depend on
So I’ll depend on You

Give me more grace
Give me more grace
And new mercies every morning
Give me new mercies

we live in a backwards world

Why when a public figure like President Clinton, or the more recent Governor Spitzer have extramarital affairs, or engage in prostitution, the country is shocked and wants them to resign, etc... when every day normal people are doing the same exact thing, and destroying families, yet it is overlooked completely? Yes, they live public lives, while normal people do not. But the fact is, both are still destroying families, and the normal people get away with having affairs, while the public figures have to face what they did and apologize to everyone. yeah... just a thought.

Life in the fast lane

So I'm off work today... which is very nice. I never really get a day off unless I have something else to do. But today I couldn't go in because of a training class being held in the office.

I realized lately how busy my life is. Who would have thought life would be so busy when I'm only taking 2 classes. My life right now consists of going to work - as much as possible, which usually ends up to be between 20-30 hours a week depending on whats going on. I def need to be getting more hours in, just money-wise though. There really isn't a whole lot to do (but don't tell Joe that). :-P

On Monday and Wednesday nights I have classes. I'm taking Intro to Special Ed - which is interesting, except kinda boring. The prof is funny, but his lectures are a bit too dramatic. When he talks he turns it all into a dramatic story, and its kinda annoying. But either way, we are learning some interesting stuff - we just started working on disorders that students have. My other class is the one I need for my major - Spanish 201. I love the people in this class, we have fun, but the teacher is extreme. She talks very loudly and doesn't really teach - just has us repeat words without explaining what they mean. But we still have fun, I just don't really feel ready for that class.

Outside of school and work I have found myself to be pretty busy as well. I pick Aidan up from daycare 3 days a week, and either take her home or babysit her for awhile before taking her home. She is so sweet, I love watching her. I also just started helping Charity get the puppet team back up and running at church. This is pretty exciting to get this going again and think about what we're going to do.

I'm also applying to schools right now to try and figure out where I want to transfer to next fall. I've applied to a bunch of schools, but I don't know which one I'd like to pick. So far I've been accepted to all that I've completely applied to. There are two I haven't sent everything in to yet. I'm hoping the school I'm supposed to go to will be made very clear to me, as I don't particularly have a preference, but I would like to go to one that isn't extremely expensive, possibly close by, although I would love to go away and live in a dorm. But it will all be made clear eventually.

My caregroup also keeps me busy. I love my caregroup so much, they are my closest friends (along with Ashley), and we have so much fun together. This weekend we're having a square dance for the whole singles ministry. It should be fun, probably kind of awkward though.

Anyway, life is good. I'm busy, I have friends who care for me no matter what, and I'm looking ahead to the future with excitement. Hopefully I'll be posting on here more often.

In the words of one of my favorite authors....

Take the time to read this, its so encouraging.

I named this blog after this section of "Beside Still Waters" by Charles Spurgeon

My dear believer, you must totally trust the Lord in everything and concerning everything. "Trust in Him at all times." Trust in the shadow of his winds. Trust in the light of his countenance.

Some have only learned to trust the smile of His face, but they must also learn to trust the blows of His fist. God brings us to that! "No," you say, "I can never come to that." But surely you can! Did not one of old say, "Though he slay me, yet I will trust Him" (Job 13:15)? This is precisely what we mean.

God's children undergo a variety of experiences. Today your heart is a place of sacrifice, tomorrow a battlefield. In turn, your soul is a temple and a threshing floor. But whatever your ups and downs, you will never be removed from your ordained and appointed place. By the grace of God, you are where you are and where you shall be. You will never be effectually removed from the Lord. Infinite love holds you.

Since you trusted in the Lord there have been times when you felt that you did not receive the expected support and comfort. And yet it came. Will you now leave Him and look elsewhere? God forbid! At the very worst, our gospel is better than the world at its best. I would rather drink the dregs of Christ's wine vat, when the berries are sour, than swallow the sweetest wine of the vintage of unbelief. Believe the gospel, whether or not it yields immediate comfort. We would sooner be God's dogs than the devil's darlings.

"The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace." (Num 6:26)

A Promise of Future Grace

Piper writes, "The biblical role of past grace - especially the cross - is to guarantee the certainty of future grace: 'He who did not spare his won son but gave him up for us all [past grace], will he not also freely give us all things with him [future grace]?' (Romans 8:32). Trusting in future grace is the enabling strength of our obedience. The more we trust in future grace, the more we give God the opportunity in our lives to show the glory of his inexhaustible grace. So take a promise of future grace and do some radical act of obedience on it. God will be mightily honored." (A Godward Life)

Defining the Gospel

At our last caregroup meeting, we were asked to define the gospel in our own words, and also in less than 25 words. So we started writing, it was hard to fit in 25 words or less! I actually wrote a couple of versions, trying to get it just right. That is impossible, but I tried. :-P Afterwards, we read ours to the group, and everyone's were really good. It was really impacting to hear people's different takes on one major event. There is so much to be said, yet certain aspects can stand out to different people. Here are my two versions (after I just wrote down the gospel song haha):

1. (This one is basically the gospel song in my own words :-P )
Holy God became lowly man to die a gruesome death, declaring me, a sinner, righteous so I could live forever with Him.

2. God became man to save his children who turned against him, to declare them righteous in his eyes so they can live in heaven forever.


Writing out the simple truth can be a huge reminder of such a great act of mercy.